Post Your Jokes Here Thread...

Drunk or just talkative? This is the place for you..

Re: Post Your Jokes Here Thread...

Postby [Aliens]Chrille » Fri Dec 03, 2010 3:28 pm

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?!
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-----Our Work Is Never Over-----
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Re: Post Your Jokes Here Thread...

Postby [Aliens]Chrille » Sat Apr 09, 2011 4:01 pm

Can read the following paragraph, Only great minds can read this. This is weird, but interesting!

If you can raed this, you have a sgtrane mnid, too.

Can you raed this? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!


Short Neurological Test

1- Find the C below.. Please do not use any cursor help.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

2- If you already found the C, now find the 6 below.

99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
69999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

3 - Now find the N below. It's a little more difficult..

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM


found this one on EK forums thought it was cool :)
---Work It Harder Make It Better---
--Do It Faster, Makes Us stronger--
----More Than Ever Hour After----
-----Our Work Is Never Over-----
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Re: Post Your Jokes Here Thread...

Postby [Aliens]acer » Sat Apr 09, 2011 4:57 pm

N was abit harder 8)
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Re: Post Your Jokes Here Thread...

Postby [Aliens]Chrille » Wed May 04, 2011 3:49 pm

A man walks into a welsh pub and orders a white wine spritzer. The bar goes silent as everyone stares at him..."Where are you from? You sound English", "I'm from across the severn," replies the man nervously. "What do you do, just across the Severn?", "I'm a taxidermist." "What on earth is one of those?", "I mount animals." "Its alright boys," shouts the barman he's one of us.

welsh... :shock:

Gaz :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
---Work It Harder Make It Better---
--Do It Faster, Makes Us stronger--
----More Than Ever Hour After----
-----Our Work Is Never Over-----
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Re: Post Your Jokes Here Thread...

Postby [Aliens]Chrille » Fri Jul 01, 2011 5:35 pm

The value of a Catholic education and a pencil.

Little Susie was not the best student in Catholic School .




Usually she slept through the class.

One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping.

'Tell me Susie, who created the universe?'

When Susie didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.

'God Almighty!' shouted Susie.

The Nun said, 'Very good' and continued teaching her class..

A little later the Nun asked Susie, 'Who is our Lord and Savior?'

But Susie didn't stir from her slumber.




Once again, Johnny came to her rescue and stuck her in the butt.

'Jesus Christ!!!' shouted Susie.

And the Nun once again said, '




Very good,' and Susie fell back asleep.

The Nun asked her a third question...




'What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'

Again, Johnny came to the rescue.




This time Susie jumped up and shouted, 'If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'

The nun fainted.
---Work It Harder Make It Better---
--Do It Faster, Makes Us stronger--
----More Than Ever Hour After----
-----Our Work Is Never Over-----
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Re: Post Your Jokes Here Thread...

Postby [Aliens]Gaz » Mon Jul 04, 2011 1:37 pm

[Aliens]Chrille wrote:A man walks into a welsh pub and orders a white wine spritzer. The bar goes silent as everyone stares at him..."Where are you from? You sound English", "I'm from across the severn," replies the man nervously. "What do you do, just across the Severn?", "I'm a taxidermist." "What on earth is one of those?", "I mount animals." "Its alright boys," shouts the barman he's one of us.

welsh... :shock:

Gaz :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


lolz
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Re: Post Your Jokes Here Thread...

Postby Krut357 » Fri Jul 22, 2011 6:22 pm

Efter en natt med mycket sex ser mannen ett foto på en annan man på sängbordet. Han blir orolig och frågar:
- Är det din man?
- Nej, såklart inte, säger kvinnan och kryper närmare.
- Din pojkvän då?
- Nej, absolut inte, svarar hon och nafsar honom i örat.
...- Pappa eller bror?
- Nej, nej, nej! svarar hon.
- Vem fan är det då?
Då svarar kvinnan leende:
- Det är ju jag före operationen!!!
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Re: Post Your Jokes Here Thread...

Postby [Aliens]Novas_Father » Fri Jul 22, 2011 6:23 pm

den va bra!
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Re: Post Your Jokes Here Thread...

Postby [Aliens]Chrille » Wed Sep 07, 2011 8:01 pm

How to get to heaven in Scotland

I was testing children in my Glasgow Sunday
school class to see if they understood the
concept of getting into heaven.

I asked them, "If I sold my house and my
car, had a big jumble sale and gave all my
money to the church, would that get me
into heaven?"

"NO!" the children answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed
the garden and kept everything tidy, would
that get me into heaven?"

Again, the answer was 'No!'

By now I was starting to smile.

"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and
gave sweeties to all the children, and
loved my husband, would that get me
into heaven?"

Again, they all answered 'No!'

I was just bursting with pride for them.

I continued, "Then how can I get into heaven?"



A six year old boy shouted,



"Yuv goat tae be fukin' deid"
---Work It Harder Make It Better---
--Do It Faster, Makes Us stronger--
----More Than Ever Hour After----
-----Our Work Is Never Over-----
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